


If By Chance

by harmonsangel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-06-27 04:56:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19783705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmonsangel/pseuds/harmonsangel
Summary: Just four completely unrelated sanvers minifics (separated by titles, you'll see them). They go with the moodboards posted on @secretsanvers twitter!1) sanvers + newborn baby/family life2) sanvers coffee shop/college AU3) alex finds herself on another earth and runs into some familiar faces4) angst! post breakup sex





	If By Chance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sanvers223](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanvers223/gifts).



> These fics were originally meant to be really really short, just a little something to go with the pictures, but the third and fourth ones got away with me (sorry, not sorry). The four themes are completely unrelated, just four ideas for sanvers I've wanted to write for a while: The order is:
> 
> 1) sanvers + newborn baby/family life  
> 2) sanvers coffee shop/college AU  
> 3) alex finds herself on another earth and runs into some familiar faces  
> 4) angst! post breakup sex (not graphic) 
> 
> The fourth one is pretty angsty, if you want to avoid angst at all costs you can skip that one (it starts at the line that says "4. If I fall for someone new, it will never be the way I love you." It has an...optimistic...ending though, so give it a try if you can. 
> 
> Also, if you are interested, I wrote two alternate (and even longer) versions of that fourth story. One is fluffier, and one is uber angsty (like, no happy ending there, you were warned). If you or anyone would like to see those, let me know ;)

  1. _Where life begins, and love never ends_



They asked her to leave, to let mom and baby rest, but Alex protested, arguing she would rest better with Maggie by her side anyway. So Maggie stays, chair pressed right up to the side of the bed, as close as she can possibly be, musing as she peers up at Alex and Jamie that she has never once in her life felt happiness like this.

Jamie. Her daughter. Her _child._ A little girl that is half her, and half the love of her life. She chuckles to herself as she realises Alex is going to have to get used to sharing that title now. Jamie Danvers-Sawyer is only a few hours old but she has captured her mother’s heart, and Maggie never wants it back.

Tearing her gaze away from their sleeping daughter for a few seconds, she catches Alex’s eyes over the top of Jamie’s tiny head. Her wife has been murmuring quietly to the baby, voicing many of the things Maggie has been thinking.

“Welcome to the world, little one” she sighs, tired but utterly smitten.

She raises her eyebrows slightly at Maggie, who leans forward to answer the unspoken gesture. A strand of dark brown-reddish hair has fallen into Alex’s line of sight, and she doesn’t want to move it for fear of waking Jamie. Maggie tucks it behind her ear and keeps her hand there, gently stroking Alex’s cheek with her thumb. Her heart feels fit to burst.

“She’s beautiful,” she whispers.

“Just like her mama.”

She smiles. It is a cliché, but Maggie really cannot believe how lucky she is. She is a wife, and a mother. She is a happily married gay woman with a family. It is the kind of happiness she grew up thinking she didn’t deserve, but right here, in this moment, she finally understands that she does. She is happy, completely, utterly, blissfully happy, and she is worthy.

She thinks back briefly to a conversation in a bar, a long time ago. In all the turmoil of their early relationship, she had been seeking Alex’s happiness but for some reason denying her own. She thanks her lucky stars that she was eventually able to take her own advice. Because it’s true.

They are real, and they deserve real, full, happy lives. And now they have them.

  1. _Sweet serendipity; that unexpected meeting that changes your life_



“Come on!”

Maggie has literally no idea where they’re going, or what Alex is doing, but she follows, already too smitten to deny her anything.

They walk hand in hand through the woods for a while, Alex scuffing up the leaves with her boots so that they rain down in front of them. One sticks in Maggie’s hair, tangled and messy from her hasty exit from the apartment this morning.

_(If anyone asked her about her sudden enthusiasm for her job at the coffee shop, she would steadfastly deny that it had anything to do with the cute red-haired biology major who had started showing up. Nope. Definitely not related)._

Alex pauses, noticing the wayward leaf. She leans closer, her hand hovering near Maggie’s jaw. Maggie holds her breath without realising, losing herself in deep brown eyes. The moment seems to last forever.

Then Alex plucks the leaf away and discards it on the ground, leaning back and continuing to walk. She grabs Maggie’s hand and laughs.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” she jokes.

It takes Maggie’s brain a few seconds to recalculate as she lets Alex drag her along the path. She loves the way she talks as if they have known each other forever. She finds herself wishing that one day it will be true.

She checks her watch. “I think we’ve missed class completely,” she notes, but there is laughter in her voice.

Alex turns to her with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “It’ll be worth it, where I’m taking you. Promise.”

Maggie gazes back at her, grinning ear to ear. “This better be good, Danvers.”

“Do you trust me?”

_Yes. Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes._

Maggie pretends to think hard. “I’m sure I can find it in my heart somewhere.”

Alex winks at her, and then, without warning, leans close and kisses her cheek. Then she is gone in a flash, dancing up the hill ahead and shouting behind her “…it’s just down here!”

If it wasn’t for the tingling sensation left on her cheek, Maggie might think she had imagined it. Her heart swells, and she mutters to herself as she follows the other girl up the small hill. This beautiful, intriguing girl who had appeared in the coffee shop one day and lit up Maggie’s entire life.

_You’ve got it bad, Sawyer._

And she does, she really, really does. But Maggie has a good feeling about this one. She feels like, finally, someone _sees_ her, and she doesn’t find herself worried that she will lose her at the drop of a hat. She doesn’t know everything about Alex Danvers, yet, but she has the inexplicable feeling that she is going to have a lifetime to find out.

  1. _Some things are too strong and too strange to be coincidences. The universe is fighting for us._



Alex releases another pained sigh at reaching Kara’s voicemail, again, muttering angrily to herself as she pockets the phone. “Can’t normally get a moment of peace and quiet and _now_ I can’t reach you? Typical.”

She looks around again, pointlessly seeking familiarity in a foreign place. She thinks she must be in Central City; she recognises it from news footage that Kara has excitedly shown her of a red blur zipping through the streets. Vaguely, in the distance, she can make out a skyscraper bearing the emblem ‘Star Laboratories.’

The building is a long way off, maybe hours walking, but Barry and his team are her only option. Kara, J’onn, Winn, James, even her Mom, aren’t answering their phones, and there is no one else she can call.

Apart from…well…there is one person. Someone who always knew what to do, someone that once would have put everything on hold in a heartbeat to help Alex. Someone that probably still would. But Alex can’t call her. It wouldn’t be fair.

She starts walking, hoping that a quick pace will impede her brain’s capacity to dwell on people she should no longer be dwelling on.

It is very, very strange, being here. It is normal and yet so abnormal. Around her are people, buildings, parks, bikes, dogs; everything that she would find at home and yet, somehow, everything is _different._

She can’t even begin to understand how she got here. She has never teleported herself anywhere before, let alone to another Earth. World. Planet. Universe. Whatever. One minute she was fiddling with one of Winn’s gadgets in the DEO, the next she was colliding with the pavement in _Central City_ , probably a million light years from her own National City.

She had only been trying to work out the gadget for herself without needing Winn’s explanation, attempting to fill her time in the office at night. Kara’s accusation that she was busying herself at work to avoid going home to an empty apartment was way off the mark. She’d developed new interests and hobbies recently, that was all.

And now that device had landed her here. “Great job, Danvers,” she thinks. Then she curses herself, because she can’t even use her own last name without hearing the affectionate nickname in someone else’s voice. A voice she misses with all her heart.

_Wait._ She stops walking. _Did I actually hear that?_

She whips around, scanning the park.

And Alex hates it when people exaggerate, but it is not a lie to say that when she sees her, her heart skips a beat. Well. When she sees _them._

Maggie is sat on a nearby bench, chatting and laughing to the person next to her. She has a coffee cup in one hand as her other dances over the knee of her companion, and she is grinning ear to ear. She is as breath-taking as ever. Even though her face is partially obscured by the angle, Alex is sure it’s her. She would know that laugh anywhere. She used to hear it every morning when she rolled over and demanded five more minutes. More recently, she hears it in her dreams.

She is briefly lost in the moment. She doesn’t even consider, for a while, how bizarre this is. She is too busy being certain that there is no sight on any earth more beautiful than Maggie Ellen Sawyer, happy and smiling. Her heart drops as she is reminded of the damage she inflicted on that smile. The last time she saw the woman, there were tears on her cheeks instead of dimples. She shakes her head, trying to retrieve her heart from going down that road. That’s when reality sets in.

This is not Maggie. Not _her_ Maggie. This one belongs here; on whatever Earth this is. Kara has explained the theory to her, although she never got as far as imagining alternate versions of the people she knows. It was just a concept, but now she is staring it in the face.

Due to the awkward angle, she cannot actually see who is on the bench on Maggie’s other side, but she doesn’t need to. There is something inside her that just knows.

Not wishing to be seen, Alex takes a long route around the edge of the park, to a spot where she is more concealed but can see them both. They seem to be having a lovely day, they probably don’t need the appearance of a doppelganger to complicate it.

Her mind isn’t processing properly, and she doesn’t spare a thought to the morality, or lack thereof, of watching people like this. She was never able to resist Maggie’s magnetic pull, and this is no exception, even if it’s not _really_ Maggie. She can feel their happiness from fifty feet away, and she wants to share it, to bask in it, to revel in their love because she lost her own.

_No._ She realises. _You threw it away._

This Alex and Maggie are _so_ happy. She can tell within seconds of watching them. They are the kind of happy that makes other couples at dinner parties sick with jealousy. They are teasing, flirting, constantly touching and smiling so wide that when they kiss it ends up not even being a proper kiss, Maggie’s toothy grin getting in the way. It is also impossible not to notice their rings, glinting in the sun every time they move their hands to and fro from each other’s arms, knees, faces.

Alex has not been paying attention to anyone else in the park, her focus limited to the two women who are achingly familiar yet perfect strangers to her. She is jolted out of her reverie when a little girl runs up to the couple, tiny hand outstretched. She can just about make out what they are saying.

“Look, Mom! It’s the flower from our book!”

Other Alex beams, leaning forward to inspect. Maggie shakes her head, laughing in disbelief.

“Have you been reading _plant books_ to our 3-year-old? Again?” She nudges Other Alex in the side, who winks at her.

“You’re never too young to love science. Jamie, tell Mama what you’re going to be when you’re a big girl.”

The little girl takes Maggie’s outstretched hand and clambers up onto the bench between her moms.

“I don’t want to be a scientist OR a detective anymore,” She announces, looking pointedly between them, making it clear where those ideas came from. “I want to be a spacewoman!”

Maggie and Other Alex’s eyes meet over the top of Jamie’s head, shining with mirth. They set about reassuring their little girl that of course she can go to space if she wants. She can do anything she sets her mind to.

“Maybe we’ll have more luck with this one,” Maggie muses, patting her stomach affectionately. Sure enough, when Alex looks closely, there is a small bump, mostly hidden by her trademark leather jacket.

Alex, fifty feet away hiding in the shrubbery, feels her heart swell. She edges away slightly, leaving the family in peace.

_Family_. Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer on this Earth are a family. They are married. They have children.

Seeing this, Alex thinks she should probably feel sad. This is what she and Maggie, _her Maggie,_ should have had. Those two have everything Alex has always wanted. Everything she has given up.

But she doesn’t feel sad. She feels resolve. On another Earth, in another universe, god knows how far away from her own, Maggie and Alex have found each other. She suspects they are not the only ones, either. Infinite earths. Infinite Alex and Maggie’s. Falling in love over, and over, and over again. _Soulmates._

The thought that she needs to take more time over the decision does not cross her mind. Before she knows it she is up, marching towards Barry and Star Labs with far more purpose than before.

There is no way this whole thing is a coincidence. She was meant to end up here and see them today, after weeks of wandering around her work and home like a lost soul. Something is missing, and she is going to get her back.

She calls that oh so familiar number as she walks, still firmly in the number one position on her speed dial. She leaves a breathless voicemail, feeling her heart already speeding up at the thought of seeing her again.

They are meant to be, and she finally understands that.

Her excitement only builds as the skyscraper comes into view. She is going back to her Earth and back to Maggie. She is going home.

  1. _If I fall for someone new, it will never be the way I love you._



She tries to resist. She tries so, so hard. She wants to be strong, to do the right thing, to protect herself and her heart. She is nearly successful, too, at the start. She almost pushes her off and walks away. But she doesn’t. That word haunts her. _Almost._

She was _almost_ married.

She was _almost_ loved forever.

She was _almost_ enough.

This time, she _almost_ does the right thing. Unfortunately for Maggie, there is a tiny voice in her brain asking questions.

What good is protecting a heart that is already shattered?

What good is trying to fix someone who has been broken for her whole life?

What good is resisting Alex when she couldn’t possibly hurt her more than she already has?

Could she?

The tiny voice wins, and she gives in. She lets Alex lead her into the bathroom, and as her front hits the wall and she feels her zipper loosen and her dress fall from her hips, she almost laughs at herself for ever thinking she was capable of resisting her.

***

“Nothing compares,” she murmurs afterwards, stroking strands of hair from Alex’s sweaty forehead. She is past the point of shame, after what they just did. And it is true. Sex with Alex was always breath-taking, literally and metaphorically. It was intimacy like she had never known it, the feeling of immersing yourself so completely in someone you love and want more than anything else in the world. Her heart had always been constantly warring between the desire to protect Alex with every fibre of her being and the desire to make her beg and scream. They were never short of love or lust. The only thing their relationship had been lacking, perhaps, was logic. It probably would have been logical to talk about wanting or not wanting children before they built their entire lives around each other, but apparently they had both been too busy wondering how on earth they got this lucky to pay attention.

Maggie sighs inwardly. They had made a lot of mistakes, but that love between them, that feeling of loving another person so much that your chest might cave in, that had not changed.

Alex leans forward from Maggie’s embrace and tucks a high heel out of sight of the gap under the stall door. “No,” she sighs, settling back in. “I don’t think anything ever will.”

Maggie is certain she is not just talking about the sex. She hadn’t been, either.

The silence stretches between them, sitting there sharing the dirty bathroom floor, wondering how being so happily, madly in love could ever have led them here.

“I want you to be happy,” Maggie whispers. Her voice comes out sounding strangely emotionless. Her heart hurts so much she feels like she has no more to give. All her pain is on the inside; she cannot vocalise it.

But Alex can. She starts crying. She is sat with her back against Maggie, between her legs, and Maggie cannot see her face. But she can feel the way she starts lightly shaking. She knows it well.

“I want to be.” She turns around and buries her face in Maggie’s neck, murmuring into her skin. “But everywhere I go, everything I do, I- I can’t escape you. You’re…you’re _in_ me. And I love you so much, I…I don’t know what to do. And she’s…great. She’s funny and smart and we want the same things and everyone loves her but I just…she’s not you.”

Maggie just holds her. Everything Alex is saying is what she feels, too. It’s the same mess of heartbreak that swirls around inside of her every day, sometimes so strong that it seems to get a hand around her neck and try to squeeze the life out of her.

Maggie knows heartbreak. She thinks she has been broken longer than she was ever whole. She has never been enough for anyone and it’s not a surprise to be reminded. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt like a bitch, but she doesn’t need to put that on Alex. So she says nothing. She is being completely honest when she tells her she wants her to be happy. Alex still has a shot, she thinks, while Maggie has been a lost cause for years.

She lets Alex cry the worst of it out, whilst she lets only one tear escape. One tear for one year with the love of her life. That’s all she will allow herself. She kisses Alex’s damp forehead.

“I love you, too. I always will, and you know that. But this is wrong, Alex.”

Alex looks at her pleadingly. “This…you and me…it could never be wrong. Do you think…is there…is there a chance?”

She desperately wants to give in again. She could agree, reassure Alex that they can do this again, that she can break the ties waiting for her outside this bathroom door and it can be the two of them, again, forever this time. She wants to, but her self-preservation (finally) kicks in, and she stays quiet. 

Maggie can practically hear her heart breaking at the seams, again, and she wonders if Alex can too. She would do anything to know what is going through Alex’s head right now. She once thought she knew Alex better than she knows herself, but she also thought they would be together forever, so she has stopped making assumptions.

“I think…” the words don’t come naturally. She has to work so hard not to give in, to tell Alex she’ll give her whatever she wants. She was never much good at denying her anything. She tries again.

“You need to do some thinking, Danvers.”

The use of the nickname feels good, like she’s putting some distance between them again. She’s safeguarding her heart, like she failed to do earlier. It’s nevertheless painful, but it’s for the best. She starts gathering her clothes and hastily pulling them on.

“You’re right,” Alex agrees, watching Maggie’s every move. “I will. Think, I mean. There’s been…something missing, in my life, since we broke up. I need to face it. I’m sorry for dragging you into this with me, again.”

Maggie hovers awkwardly in the doorway. She wants to say something, anything, and she decides on the truth. There are no lies between them, now. There would be no point.

“Alex, I’m still in love with you. Completely, madly, head over heels in love with you. But I’m…so, so hurt, and I’m not going to be a toy you play games with. This, tonight, was a mistake. But when you know what you want, if you want to get coffee, or talk…you know where to find me. If not, I’ll…see you around, I guess.” She winces at those words, out before she even realises. But it feels good, no, _great_ , to stand up for herself. After being so unable to with her father for so long, it is cathartic to finally take ownership of her life in this way.

She wheels around and walks straight out of the bar.

She has to pause outside the building. Her heart feels like it’s made of glass, and with one more step it might shatter beyond repair. She is full of thousands of emotions at once, most of whom are screaming at her to ‘ _be careful!’_

But Maggie is an optimist. She has always been, always had to be. She sees the good in people and situations. She believes that somehow, no matter what, she will be OK in the end.

And somewhere, deep down in her chest, in amongst the fragments of a broken heart, she feels a spark of hope alight.


End file.
